Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Where is the "Happy"


Maybe I could be like that snake that she was talking about – the one that comes out to sun herself on the walk next to her house.  And then I could jump out of my skin, as I feel like doing tonight.

No, the day was not all bad, it never is all bad, but that in itself proves my statement last week in an email to a friend: happiness is temporary –Buddha said it, Cher said it in Moonstruck.  Happiness is temporary, fleeting.  I can feel contented one moment, but then….bingo. So what really is a state of “being Happy?”

Because, here’s how it works – you listen to some well-crafted lyrics and fine music in the car on the way to work – it’s your favorite folk singer – his voice is like gravel on velvet – and it makes you happy.  He’s familiar, he’s a friend, his words are wise and strong and weak and they come out of him like a well poured drink.  You’re happy too, with your thrown together outfit today; the pants are a good fit and not too tight to cause you discomfort by the afternoon after lunch, but fit well enough to show that your butt is not all that bad for your age.  The dotted socks in burgandy and gold, with the leopard shoes – well, they are silly enough to make you smile, and maybe keep your wacky fashion sense alive.  You feel at ease ready for the day.  Even the morning challenge of the meeting, the resolution with the newspaper reporter issue – really the photo was only phallic if it was on your mind….then mid-morning, a jaunt down to the dollar store. And walking back, almost bopping to the piped in music in the strip mall, with three bright red balloons;  only a few pain jolts in the hip – thank you lord.

And then the planned walk with the others in celebration of the county declared Healthy week; pied piper style, thru the streets of Kingston, with the red balloons bobbing along, though one did escape.  And then Eleanor, the one with the sunning snake at her home, displaying her fancifully carved fruit and veggies at the table on the sidewalk outside the office.  And some really good pictures of carved melons and clementine’s and cucumbers looking like flowers, or was that supposed to be a spider? 

And then………………the comment.  And I can’t write it, but how to explain that it changed the tenor of the day?  It made me feel bad.  It made me wonder what constitutes a sense of humor and when or if we need to comment.  It made me question myself, my immediate reaction, and my opinions.  And it took the “happy” out of the day.  That, and the ever rising anxiety and urgency permeating the office cubes, because of the pending meeting this evening.  And so I had to go to the wine store and I had to question “happy” all over again and why I would let someone take away my “happy”.   But doesn’t it prove the point that happiness is temporary, fleeting, which is what I wrote my friend in the email, that made her sad, as she told me in the return email.

Yes, we can waken in the morning being grateful for the day and the creaky old bones still able to jump up and forth into the day.  And we are ever so happy for our children’s health and both their recent good fortunes!  And we are grateful for a job and dear friends and a thoughtful lover and all that can be happy………..

But cannot a single phone call, an isolated comment, and awareness of another’s; hardship or tragedy or loss - does not that interfere with the “happy”? Of course it does!  What is the moral here?

Grab it while you feel it.  Happiness, by definition need to be fleeting, temporary.  We are mere mortals bumbling our way thru life as we know it.

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